she proposed to him???

went to the movies just now.
plan nk beli big apple je and shop for my bday present=)
i knw,i knw, dh lme lepas, but so wat?
walked here and there but nothing interest me.
see, i told you its hard shopping wit me=p
u gotta at least gimme 2 days to shop, then i can make my mind up.

while waiting for the day to cool down
we went to watch a movie.
oh yea, if you guys xtgk THE PROPOSAL lagi, go tgk!
GO GO GO !!!
its good, i swear!
the movie started at 4.50 and ended at 6.40
it was so worth it!!!

dh habis tu g la byar tiket.
the line was so long so we had to wait.
lme sgt we went to kluarkn duit dlu.
more like dye yg kluarkn duit=p
tgh kluarkn duit tu, tibe2 my phone ringed.

tyah: Hi tcher.
mrs. E: hi tyah. hey, where r u?
tyah: umm...im in alamanda...y?
mrs. E: i thought so. i saw you just now.
tyah: hah? reli? *looking around suspiciously*
mrs. E: yea, i was in front of you mse nk bayar tiket td.
tyah: *speechless*
mrs E: who was that tall guy?
tyah: *buat2 xtau* which one?
mrs. E: the one with you td.
tyah: ooohhh...my friend.
mrs. E: uh-huh...*sounding skeptical*
tyah: yea...*awkward dh*
mrs. E: owh, ok, that's all i wanted to say. enjoy your day. BYE!
mrs. E: k tcer, bye!

i hung up and looked around.
mne la tau ad plak mata yg memandang...

then we went to FLORIA!
any of you guys dh pg??
today saje je nk g coz nk tgk hasil kerja fatin.
we went around and around but xnmpak pon...
but everything was beautiful.
the one by sime darby was so nice!
it kinda reminded me to opah's house.
hmm..lme xblk sane..
then we went to the big white khemah and walked around.
i like the one yang ad umbrellas hanging on branches.
its interesting.rupe2nye ad bell kt each payung tu.
ingt nk goyangkan umbrella tu, u knw,nk bunyikan bell.
tp al-maklumlah...xcukup tinggi.

hmm..i seem to have a thing for bells...

then we went back to the car.
masuk je he was looking around and said: where are you?
assuming it was me, i said la: dude im here. sebegini besar pon xnmpak?
then he looked at me.
so i looked back la.
after a while he said: i was talking bout the big apple la, not you.
me: T_T

oh yea, mrs. E is PN Emelda=)
hahaha yea, im gonna have a hard time explaining things to her after this.

and thx dude for taking me out.
i needed time to wind down td.
u knw, frust xdpt PLKN...
watching movie and going to floria really really helped!
thx yea!
now when i come to think of it,
ur always around when my mind is disturbed.
and ur always around to help me cool down and forget all my problems.
and whenever we gaduh ur always the one yg kne mengalah.
yes i know, im a pain in d ass.
but somehow you can still bear with me.
thnk u.

until then,
tooddles yawl.


girl stuck in the jungle


boy imagining himself in hawaii





p/s:i know wat ur thinking.
no,this guy is not my boyfriend.

me+him=?

a few days ago,
ad la sorang bdk ni.
dye tnye : who's your boyfriend?
i said: i dont have one.
she said: tipu la. i know you have one.
i said: yea rite. who do u think my boyfriend is?
she said: alaa that guy. i forgot his name.
i said: who?
she said: ********
me: LOL

boy, that was really unexpected.
seriously.
me and him???
really???
as in really really???

he said she said

doc said:
'jgn kluar rumah. takot berjangkit-'

i say:
'wth, im going anyway'

ive been stuck at home for 2 days.
i am bored.
and i am so going to skool tomorrow.
sorry doc,i gotta do wat i gotta do.

see ya later.

rematch.

the so called Queen of Bowling calls for a rematch!!!

ad berani?
hahahah ;p

friday oh friday

since we got home last night, laundry xsempat nk buat
so the girls said pakai kain biru today.
so pg td gosok la.
oh yea, last night sammy said she's still feeling sick so she's not coming to skool.
hani mmg xdtg.
dh semangat pkai kain biru nk g skolah, tibe2...
njwa said she wont be going to skool coz xsihat.
AWW MAAANNN!!!
but i managed. among the debaters it was just me and chip je yg datang.
*im changing to from adam to chip now*

today ok la.
i was shocked you know.
topek is suspected H1N1.
wat triggers me is mcm mne blh kne???

it was a slow day.
after recess we had addmath and chemistry.
pn radziah xdtg cox yesterday she felt dizzy tibe2.
im worried...dh la she's pregnant.

mse chemistry chip came in our class.
he didnt look so well.
mualim ni pon satu, hisy...
*eyes rolling*

blk debate semua xsihat.
hani is suspected H1N1.
sammy hasnt been feeling well before debate and after debate.
najwa xsihat this morning.
adam pon nmpk xsihat and a bit troubled.
me?
i feel fine.
but i am worried.
i was sandwiched between hani and sammy for 4 days in kedah.
oh yea, adam squared,(chip's roommate whom i call adam squared coz ad 2 org adam in the room) is suspected H1N1 too. he hung around with us in our room. now im really worried.
maybe i'll go check nnt if my cough gets worse.

this morning i hugged everyone and coughed at them.
wat...?
dont be mad, i was just spreading some love=)
i hugged and coughed at everyone.ngehehehe.
even at nadhirah when she was reading a book kt canteen.
hey, you wanna shoot me, shoot la!
i already spreaded the germs.mwahahahah!
next week im gonna start with form 3 classes;)

now, where was i?
oh yea, today went to play bowling with the guys.
me, alyn, ali, iman, adam, faiz and later joined by mualim.
i suck at bowling!!!
but the guys taught me a few stuff and ali taught me a trick.
thnk dude!
awal2 tu asyk msk longkang je.
haih...tension je.
faiz called me the 'queen of bowling'
siap kau faiz.
but towards the end baru ok.
faiz had to belanja everyone coz he won.
then my son, iman, drove us all home.
son, dont tell ur dad wat i did when he wasnt around,k.
and the things said in the car shall remain in the car.
hahaha wat things???

so then he sent me home.
i saw my dad going to the surau and i wondered who's gonna send me to tusyen.
then son to the rescue, iman took me to tusyen n back home.
thx son!
and ali of coz=)
ali was coughing so badly now i've started coughing worse.
take good care of urself.

so akhir kata:
guys,take care of yourselves.
hani, rest. dont do anything that might harm ur health, k.
sammy, u too! rest!!! its been days already. take good care of ur health. and eat carrots!!!
najwa, xkn semalaman xdpt tdo ngan blazer dh demam? ayyooo...ye la, i'll give it back on monday. if im nice enough=P
adam, dont be too stressed out. take a deep breath from time to time. rest secukupnya and see the doctor if it gets worse,k.
ali, i think you should really rest. drink a lot of water and if it gets worse, see the doctor.
iman, my son, ur still healthy. haha, like me!

yg sihat tu, keep it up.
to those whom i hugged and 'accidently' coughed at today, go see the doctor.
this is no joke.
GO GO GO !!!

home at last

we arrived safely in putrajaya at 8pm last night.
fuh...butt cramp dude.
i feel sad.
i didnt want the journey to end.
but it has to end at some point kan..

we got kicked out of the hotel at 2pm.
before that we went to bid pahang and melaka farewell.
its been nice getting to know you guys!

hhmm..yea.
before that we went to watch the finals.
convent ipoh vs king george 5th
i swear i thought KGV dh bagged in the title.
but surprisingly Convent Ipoh did.
i was...shocked.speechless teramat la.
but anyways, congrats la.
KGV, you were awesome. you made debate fun to watch and participate in.

so anyway,
we bertolak at 2pm.
my bag (as usual) was the base of all bags.
we got in the van and semua lentok habis.
najwa as usual tido terus.
adam tido.
sammy tido.
hani kejap tido kejap bangun.
me? tak selesa tido.
i caught tcer emelda looking back to watch us then i closed my eyes again.
it was a pretty quite journey back.
i guess everyone slept late last night.
ad org tu kononnya xnk tido tp dye yg tido dlu.
ish2..sape la tu..?

then we stopped at bukit gantang.
after that baru la semua alive.
we started joking and messing around again.
me n najwa were bored so we played notice the signboard and read it.
somehow i always miss it.
then i played a game with my dad; translate the name of places from bm to english.
mcm2 ad.you guys try to guess:
sungai ramping
bamboo river
iron river
profit hill
hanging rod
miaow road

we sang a few madonna songs and sang adam a song.
he was blushing!!!
hahahaha, dont worry, if you guys missed it, we recorded it=)

bla bla bla bla...
dh smpai putrajaya.
we waited for our parents kt atas.
then hani reminded me something...
i still didnt get my revenge.
so we played kejar2 in the middle of the night.
i didnt get my revenge...
but i did get najwa's bag=)
full of food. ad a few books and ehem-ehem's blazer.
hahahah come and get it wa!

sambungan cerita kedah

ok,sambung cerita.

we went back to our room and relax.
then me and adam went to the corridor
then the rest plk joined us.
we talked and talked and talked and that's when hani n najwa got their revenge.
what revenge?
hahaha, the revenge
it started on the first night here.
me n hani were messing around kicking each others ass.
then this morning, najwa was making the bed and i tibe2 je hit her.
then it hit me...
i hit the wrong ass T.T

so just now they got their revenge...
wats the revenge?
i was locked outside.
for TWO HOURS!
it was me against najwa and hani.
i tried to push the door open but OMG berat macam gajah.
even adam tried to push open the door.

so me and adam went away.
we brainstormed on how to lure hani out of the room.
but we were too nice to do that.
so me and adam decided to go to the pool.
talk talk talk talk talk
and suddenly, adam got cramp.
hahahaha, he got it from watching a guy pushing a girl in the pool.

then we went to get ready.
yep, finally after being locked for two hours, i got in...

then yadda yadda yadda
we went to dinner at KFC
tgh makan tu kan...
tibe2 tcer emelda said, 'tyah, look at the girl's flipflop.'
so i tried to look but xnampak.
then she said, 'its the same as yours'
so i went to see it myself and mmg btol, it was the same!
the exact pair i bought kat star parade!
so i najwa took a picture of my flip flip with hers, without her knowing.
we couldnt help but laughing all the way back to our seat and showed everyone the picture.
the tcer jaja said xnmpak orangnya.
so dgn xmalu nye i went back to que behind her with her boyfriend
while i was posing, her boyfriend marah so ape lagi, cabut la!
hahaha then again dengan xmalunya i went back and possed behind her.
then before kena marah again, i cabut lari and got out of KFC.

after we had dinner, we went to bowling!!!
wat i dont get is why my bola always ended up msuk longkang...
xpe, 2 years xmain
(alasan...)
so, here are the results:
1st: atiyah
2nd: hani
3rd: tcer jaja
4th: najwa
5th: tcer emelda
6th: sammy
7th: adam

ok, im only joking.
the kedudukan kat atas tu terbalik.
hahaha, my score was 24
ish..fail.
after bowling tu we went back to our room.
and rest.
ok, not really resting but more to messing around.
i was jumping on the bed with najwa lying on the it, then adam said if i jump high enough, i can make najwa jump.
so i tried but it didnt really work.
so hani and i jumped on the bed.
it was fun, seriously!
but that was until hani fell off the bed head first.
all we saw was her legs.
then tak puas lagi we jumped again and again until eventually i accidently stepped on najwa and pushed hani off the bed and there she goes again, tercampak dari katil ke bawah.
hahahaa ooppss...did i say i pushed her?
i meant i accidently pushed her off the bed.ngehehehe...

so now here we are
the five of us
on 1.20 am
hanging around.

hani started prank calling people and ended up 'networking'
sammy hasnt recovered yet so she's feeling a bit drowsy and has landed on the bed.
HEEYY sammy, that's my side of the bed!!!
najwa as usual is asleep. paling kuat tido.
adam is sitting beside me, sleeping on the chair.
i think it was from the orange juice i gave him.
dont tell him this but i put some sleeping pills in it.ngehehehe
no, its ok adam. its safe to drink. i didnt put anything in there.=D

and as for me,
im here, sitting on the same chair for the past 3 days, blogging
and observing everyone.
right now, the room is like wat hani says 'mengalahkan kandang babi'
adam is half asleep.
i have to be alert coz he'll talk all of a sudden je and it makes me think that he's sleep talking.
sammy and najwa has reached the dreamland.
hani is still 'networking'

ok, that'll be all.
too much happened today but i dont think everything fits.
overall, today was a quite tiring day because
we all breathed in giggling gas.

sape la supplier gas ni...?

3rd day in kedah

this morning we get to wake up late!!!
we didnt have anything to do this morning since we lost.
siap pon lambat.
then we bertolak to watch debate kat smk bukhari.
johor vs negri sembilan. johor not sure which school but negri sembilan is King George V.
johor has good points but KGV is good with their presentation.
finally KGV won.congratz guys!

then we were all bored and tired.
teacher tanye, nak tgk lagi ke nak go somewhere else?
adam was being coy and asked teacher which one she prefers.
of course we all said shopping!
so we went to star parade.
ok la.
i bought things that i shouldnt have brought.
now i am critically short of money.
najwa la ni...
u r such a bad influence on me.
i dont wanna go shopping with you anymore!

oh yea,
i'll update later tonight after BOWLING!!!

the continuous of the 2nd day in kedah

hello again!
currently, i am sitting on a chair
watching everyone doing something.

lets see...
hani feels depressed.
adam has just confirmed himself as a bisexual.
sammy is sitting infront of me looking tired and i think she is looking for a place to crash.
najwa is on the bed, watching transformers.
our neighbours from melaka came and join us.
grace, iman, and another one im not sure of are watching tranformers.
looking at them, they are so focused.
oh yea, adam's roommate, whose name is also adam is also here.
tcer jaja was here before but dh kluar.
so before it used to be 10 of us in one room, but now there's 9 of us.
crowded...

oh yea, im here blogging as usual.
watching everyone...
thinking...

2nd day in kedah

phew...
wat a day.
today, us debaters went against pahang.
and today too...
we, the debaters of smk p11(1) lost...

so, how do we feel about it?
GGREEAAAATT!!!
and i am not being sarcastic.
you guys have no idea how relieved we were to hear they won.
seriously, RELIEVED!!!
good luck PAHANG, esp M bukan nama sebenar.
(this goes to adam)

but on the bright side, the judges complemented us
he said our style is like university level.
the only thing wrong with us is we were unstructured.
oh well...
and he also said to carry on debating.
yea rite...i've had enough.

oh yea, sammy was so glad!
here she is, wearing telekung, shouting with joy,
'NO MORE U.N!!!
go pray la sammy.

now, where were we...
oh yea, today was quite tiring.but also fun.
we laughed a lot. i guess that's why we are all tired.
its like all of us sucked in giggling gas.
hisy...sape pnye keje ni....?

today after debate, we went on a field trip.
we went to museum padi.
dunno wat we were supposed to do there.
but the most funniest part is the taking pictures.
u guys knw yang gmbr where u sitck ur face in it x?
yea, that's what most of them did.
hani muka mcm makcik sket.
tcer jaja and tcer emelda no comment...
adam buat muka.
when tcer tnye nape, he said 'stress tcer...'
he said stress sebab menuai padi or something like that.

then we went to menara alor setar.
it was HIIIIGHHH i tell you, HIGH!
it took me awhile to tgk bawah.
but i managed=)
guys, how i reacted up there stays up there.

then we went to pekan rabu!
we only get to spent 2 hours there.
clearly not enough...
xsempat beli banyak.
and we're still xpuas shopping.

overall, today is quite tiring but fun.
i n hani messed around kicking each others ass and imagining evil things we cn do to each other.
to all the debaters competing tomorrow,
good luck and all the best.
to those who lost,
enjoy ur trip like us!

1st day in kedah

hello hello hello!!!
hi hi hi!!!

ok,im actually bored.
its not that i have nothing to do.
i do!
a lot!
i havent done my script yet.
ntah nape this time i don't feel anything.
i dont feel nervous or anything.
i think its because this month i've been through enough.
2 weeks public speaking, 2 weeks debate.
hows that?

lalalalalala
seriously, I AM BORED PEOPLE!
help me help me help me!

oh yea, let me tell you about kedah.
it was a long way.
on the way tu we saw another van like us and quite a lot of people. and the van is always behind us. it was as if they were following us.
at that time me, hani, and najwa were sitting kt blakang. adam was sitting kt depan. so there we were, 3 girls kt blakang, bored. then an idea struck. i wrote:
'HI DEBATERS!!!'
then hani pasted it kt cermin blakang.
at 1st they didnt notice. then they were pointing and calling all their friends to read the note. they all waved! hahaaha!
then we flipped the paper which said:
'STOP FOLLOWING US!'
they read it and the driver drove beside us and then back behind us.
i know, that was weird, but imagine us in the bus.
that was our one of the few source of entertainment.

hmmm...wat else...?
oh yea, our accommadation, we're staying at hotel grand crystal.
search it up. its VERY GRAND i tell you. the girls are staying in one room. adam of course have to sleep in another room. not alone but with 2 perlis guys.

dinner just now was ok.
everyone tgh tension. so i told them stories in my family. that cheered everyone up. i dont know wats wrong with adam just now. he couldnt stop laughing!
seriously, that guy mcm terhidu giggling gas...
*sigh*

yea, so here i am.
sitting on the floor, blogging.
najwa is beside me, chewing chips.
no, i dont mean chip adam, but chips chip.
hani is infront of me, on the bed, chewing and texting.
adam is standing sebelah hani, chewing, as usual, and texting while looking at the printed map. oh wait, he's squatting while talking.
tcer jaja is on the floor with me, eating chips.
tcer emelda is talking, telling us to sleep early.
but i'll just keep quite so no one can disturb me.ngeheheh.
tcer emelda keeps remiding us to sleep early.
our limit is 10pm.

ok,now hani is pissed off coz kt luar bsing. ad org psang lagu kuat2.
now she's checking the window,opening it...
hahahahaha!
she's shouting sruh diam.
she's more pissed off coz lagu tu lagu cina...

hmm....when is sammy gonna get here...
sammy,if ur reading this, come here ASAP!
ur missing a lot of action here.
ok, not much la, but we can always create some action.

now...
the eagles has left the building.
(i meant tcers)

eww

let me tell you something,
NANDO'S XSEDAP!

the food.ermm...
the sauce.ewww...
overall:
i give it 1/2 out of 10.

tired.

wat a day.
this morning, my parents ajak balik kampung to see atok n nenek.
before that we had to stop at a few places.
1st: breakfast
2nd: nursery
3rd: damansara
4th: serendah

today was long, i tell you.
si gemuk slept in my room coz sejuk.
oh yea, my air cond is fixed and works like a charm!

my mum beli banyak gile pokok.
but yang siram ktorng jugak.
yang baja ktorng jugak.
yang susun kitorang jugak.
tapi bila dh berbunga, she says: 'eeehhh pokok umi dh berbunga!'

wat else eih?
oh yea, i just had the shortest shopping time ever.
can u believe it my dad gave me half an hour to buy my stuff???
HALF AN HOUR
it took me 10 mins to search for the section.
i just took whatever looks right and paid.
i swear, if those slacks dont fit, you owe me another trip!!!
plus money.

malas nye nk pack.
the bag is here, wide open but empty.
wait...
ok,not empty.
farid's in it lying down with a pillow.
maybe i should pack him in too?

when i showed my dad the aturcara,
the first thing he noticed is the trip to pekan rabu.
and he pesan me alot of stuff to buy.
logic nya, most of the stuff boleh beli kt sini je.
but xpe la, beli je la.
that reminds me, i need to buy a few more for teachers.
you know, as a gift and saying sorry for missing a lot of classes.
hmmm...i think i need a bigger bag.

i think i'll take a nap.
tomorrow is farid's bday but since everyone is gonna be busy tomorrow,
we're celebrating tonight.

i love you yed,
despite all the things you made me do.
all my stuff you broke, lost and hid.
and despite all those doodles and scribbles you do on my notes and assignment.
i still love you.

something wrong

something feels wrong today.
the debaters dihalau dari english room so we ended up staying in bilik guru.
the other part of the bilik guru is now suram.
you know,without their presence.

usually, i would intai through the window nk tgk if there's anyone for me to kacau.
or if im from the other door,i would sneak tgk disebalik dinding.
*sigh*
good old times...

so we went to bilik guru,
it felt different.
sunyi and suram.
practical teachers, i miss you.

though we only knew each other for a few months,
those few months meant a lot to me.

i remember i first met miss ain during english camp.
that night she asked my name.
i said its not a very common name so its kinda hard to remember.
then she said she has problems remembering ppl's name.
the next few days tu i went to bilik guru through the door dpn practical teachers room and she called out my name.
she actually remembered my name!

2nd time tu i remember it was thursday. i was supposed to meet miss jaja for my public speaking practice.
she called me and we sat and talked.
she asked me to present my speech but i refused. segan la...
i remembered too another practical teacher,who goes by the name kucai?
or something that sounds like that.
he offered me a sweet and told me a tale when miss ain fell from her car.
hahahah that was so funny!
*no offense*

then i also remember during my public speaking practise when i asked adam to go borrow a pencil from miss ain.
it was a nice pencil.
i forgot to return it to her so a few days after that baru pulangkan.
somehow i felt mischievious that day.
i told her i lost her pencil and offered her another pencil,which i found on a table,and offered it to her.
she cursed me to turn into a pencil.hahahah=p
i also got a chocolate=D

then last week on friday,
i talked to her for the last time.
again, i felt mischievious so i sneaked and took her pencil.
and now its mine!!!

this one is dedicated to you miss.
i know you're reading this.

nil onwards

harry potter.
wat a disappointment.
i was hoping for more action and stuff
but i ended up bored in the cinema waiting for it to end.
urgh,that totally sucks.

neway,
next week we're heading off to kedah for debate.
we're starting from nil so if anyone has any idea,do tell.

Piala Tan Sri Datuk Seri Penglima Dr. Abdul Rahman Arsyad

peringkat awal:
this house believes that school should increase the importance placed on co-curricular activities.

suku akhir:
this house believes that the United Nation is dysfunctional.

separuh akhir:
this house believes that free trade harms the developing world.

peringkat akhir:
this house believes that change is not progress.

si pekak

td after class chemistry kt tmn putra perdana,
my sis ajk tgk klo ad tiket ke tak.
nak tgk harry potter pnye psl la kn.
so smpai2, g la que
panjang sungguh.
tp xpe, demi rupert grint, aku sanggup;D

tgh tunggu tu,
ad la sorang abg ni dtg tanye,'dik,dh tgk transformers ke blom?'
so i said,'dh tgk dh'
he said,'oh ye ke...xpe la cmtu.sy ad tiket free nk bg ni...tp klo dh tgk,xpe la'
so abg tu pon melangkah pergi dengan sayu nye.
klau abg tu offer harry potter mmg for sure i'll just grab it rite there.
but...you knw..

so tunggu la our turn.
they showed this one trailer kt screen btol2 infront of me
best la jgk.
1st i saw trailer up.
funny and cute tgk si tembam tu.
then they showed trailer yg ad woody tu.
quite nice.kluar 2010.
then they showed trailer up again.
funny part atok tu bkk pintu nmpak si tembam tu dh plaster kt wall pastu tutup blk pintu.hahaha.

tibe2 tu,
suara seorng lelaki bergema
'NEXT PLEASE!'
hahaa kusyuk sgt smpai org tu panggil bnyk kali tp xdengar.
last2 kne gune mic.

dh beli ticket tu,
smpat lagi ckp,'siap gna mic lagi'
dye pon bls la, 'penat saya panggil tadi.'
hahaha sorry.

moral of the story:
pkai mic slalu kt cinema supaya customer sng dgr=)
atau jgn letak screen direct kt muka customer=)
atau customer kne lagi peka.=)

man...should've let miss ain brought the tickets.
tgk, kn dh malu...

the pencil

today is the last day of practical teachers here in smk p11(1).
i feel...hmmm..ntah la.
its fun having them around.
even though non of them taught me, still...
their presence sure do mean something to me.

the teacher im gonna remember most is miss ain.
hahaha i love messing around with her.
let me tell u something, this teacher is very ticklish.
poke sket je dh nmpk like she's dancing=p

one day tu,
she cursed me to turn into a pencil.
so i said, cool, i'll finally be skinny!
then i had to give her back her purple baby.
meh...its alright.
i'll take it again someday.

then just now,
we went to staffroom and messed around with her again.
you know, last day and all.
she asked what should she save my name as.
then she said ,'atiyah the pencil stealer'
hahaha

yup teacher,
your pencil is once again with me.
and it will always be.
(unless you steal it back, which i think is impossible!)

see ya around tcer=D

speechless

so after skool just now,
we went to pick up my mom kt office.
then xpernah2 lalu p9 nk blk, my dad went to p9.
i asked,'where r we going?'
he said,'p9'
ok...
then nk msk dapurmas.
'why r we going to dapurmas?'
'we're not. we're going to e-didik.'
'ok...why r we going to e-didik?'
'tuition.'

i was speechless.
they said straight after debate national i'm gonna start.
ok la, at least they gave me warning so i can prepare myself mentally.
ni tak.
straight je daftar.
and start tomorrow night.
who wouldn't be so...shocked and speechless?

*sigh*
what was i thinking telling them the 1st topic for debate???

explanation behind everything

i feel i havent explain the reason behind everything just now.
i want to say what's really in my mind
but the problem is...
i cant say what i want without choking.

when i first meet new people, i put on a brave face and an atittude so people wont trample on me.
but when i start to know the person well, get close with the person, i tend to soften up and all my mask, my pretence fade away.

this was what i really wanted to say:
chip, last year we made a mess. it totally ruined what we had before. but we make up for what has happened. what i want to say is im sorry for all the trouble i caused you. i know what you've been through last year for i caused those problems. i know you had to go to a few counseling sessions because of what i've done. but i want you to know that hurting you hurts me too. i had to pretend i was ok every single day so everything wont go from bad to worse.i had to put on a smile whenever im surrounded by people. i had to say im ok,im fine, no problem,im happy when people ask how i feel. i had to joke around people so they wont notice anything.i had to suck everything in just to make everyone ok. to make you ok. when you gve me that letter, i didnt want to read it. i know it will make me feel guilty. but i know by not reading it, it'll make things more complicated. everything you wrote hit me in the head so hard.i realized i was so selfish. i pulled you with an imaginary string and let you go in an instant. it was and still is my fault. yes, i have lived my life pretending to make everyone feel better. and now, when everything is ok, i still feel the burden on my shoulder. apparently, when i lost you, i lost another friend. najwa. she was the one who comforted you when i left you to deal with the mess. i felt betrayed. i still do. the first time, najwa didnt like you at all. but i persuaded her telling her what a nice guy u are. it wasnt easy, but i did it. then,you guys started to get close. i was happy that i made it. i made you two friends. but...then evrything turned 180 degree. you two were friends. where does that leave me? yes, stranded on an island. non of you talked to me at all. all my effort of making you two friends seems to fade. there was no more me in the picture. i wasn't mad, or angry. but i was hurt. i still am.
i kept this to myself for a long time. i hope this explains everything.

hani, you know how much i adore you. you're like my personal teddy bear where i can tell you anything at all without you telling anyone else. but i know, i never tell you everything. i just tell you bits and pieces of it and that's it. its not that i dont trust you. i dont trust myself. i dont trust my feelings. i know once i start, i'll keep on flooding. i know all the trouble you've been going through, i guess that's why i never really want to say or tell you much. i dont want to burden you with my problems. you have far too much to handle. you were always there for me. esp through my nervous breakdown. remember last year? i know i hurt you , but you still bear with me. you comforted me through everything. please dont leave me...bear with me, with us, just for a few months. i need you here.

sammy, i know you weren't there just now. but this is the urgent thing i wanted to tell you. like i said earlier, i know this is might or will hurt your feelings. i feel like people have been taking advantage of me.of my effort. this may seem stupid but this is how i feel. i feel used. during my time of public speaking, i felt insecure. so i needed supporters. you came with me to public speaking. but even with you there, i still felt insecure. i felt i was left there alone to deal with my nerve while you guys sit there calmly. i feel the reason you came is to get out of class, not support me coz i feel i didnt get any support from you. same goes after the the public speaking. after they annouced the winner and all that. i felt insecure. alone. what saddens me is that..you didnt even congratulate me. i know its childish and so on but i kept quite at that time. i didnt want to cause a scene. again, i know this is stupid, but its true. this is how i felt.

hafiz, sometimes i feel you depend on me too much. i know we both have problems to make ends meet. i've known you the longest. how long has it been? 5 years? during those 5 years, we have been through ups and downs. we say things that hurt each others feelings. we do things that hurt each others feelings. we did a lot of things yg menyakitkan hati. i still remember last year, you sat for ur spm examination. you were so busy with your study till you hardly have any time to actually talk to me or sms me. now its my turn to sit for my spm examination. we've gotten closer this year and this actually made it harder for me to express my feelings. i feel like you've been depending on me too much. i sacrificed my time to sit and talk to you on the phone. listening to how your day went, and how its going with you and syafiqah and so on. sometimes i feel you dont understand my position. you've been through this before last year, you know how busy it would be for me this year. but i feel you still dont understand. obviously i would be under a lot of stress from not only academic pursuit, but as well as my other personal problems. sometimes i feel it would be nicer if you actually ask me how my day went.how i feel and so on. you were the one i pour half of my heart out at coz i know by telling you all my problems, you'll forget what i told you. ur such a goldfish la...
but still, sometimes it hurts when you say things aswell. i know i sometimes forget things. but that is no reason at all to perli me. i have reasons why i forget.
for example; last night you said you wanted to talk about something but i had sejarah notes to finish. so i said i'll text you when i finish. and yea, i fell asleep on my sejarah note book. and just now i got a msg from you saying 'ad org kte nk msg.xmsg pon'. seriously hafiz, i have feelings too. please dont treat me this way anymore. a bit of respect would be nice.

im sorry it took me a long time to voice it all out.
i grew up this way but i dont blame my parents for all this.
my childhood is not something im proud of.
i went through alot yet i still kept quite about it.
but like hani said, i need to learn to open up.
this is just a small step.

public speaking 2009

last tuesday,i competed in public speaking 2009.
but i guess, you guys already knw.
anyway, this year's host was p16(1).
i went with the choral speaking team naik bas.
here are the pictures:

thx chip,for d candid. cant remember wat i was pointing at...


me and tcer jaja befoe the competition.
time ni ok la, the nerves havent start kicking in yet.


my very emotional speech.
it went ok.
except once again i missed one line.
*eyes rolling*


yay,done with my speech.


but still waiting nervously for the impromptu speech.


after the closing ceremony, i took pictures with the public speakers.
ni yg sempat tangkap je.
i lost p14 and p18.

this is Hazim from SAS


i was quite close with him but im sorry,i didnt catch his name.
form 1, from p11(2)


this is amira from p8(1)
she's a debater and we went against each other in 2nd round.
(like you guys care,rite?)
very nice, got canadian accent=)


zul asyraf, p9(2)
very good speaker.
his speech was good,both prepared and impropmtu. he sang a song too=)
and apparently, he said pakai mike 'x macho' la...
betol ke?


izarin p16(1)
he said jgn post gmbar ni takot gf dye marah.
but the thing is, i dont listen to ppl.
plus its my blog.
so =P
haha


ain aris p9(1)
very very nice.
i think i hurt her...
i squeezed he hands too hard.
sorry~
nobody was there fo me to squeeze.
see hani,see how much i need you?
ur my squeezer!



and tu je la.
after that we HAD to go back to skool coz tcer marniza aka miss 43 kept repeating:
'no alamanda'
'presint 11(1)'


muka2 sedih xdpt gi alamanda.



i was so frustrated that day.
so hafiz ajak kluar mkn baskin robin.
haha i got to go to alamanda=p
1st thing smpai alamanda,kcau my sis keje kt skin food.
kesian...
then we went to baskin robin.
there was this one ice cream that looked like puke.
so, mmg xde selera la.
then g big apple, beli donuts of coz.
then went to famous amos beli ice cream.
bru satisfied.
haha sorry hafiz.
i change flavor every time i buy ice cream.
then g cinema nk book ticket.
xdapat...
nvm la...maybe next time.
harry potter yea!
but rupert grint kene H1N1.
stupid flu.
stupid pig.

oh yea, i got naib johan again this year.
now i know how mus feels...